This guy comes into a bar...
walks to the bartender and says...
" Bartender, I got a bet for you.

I'll bet you $300 that I can piss...
into that glass over there...
and not spill a drop."

The bartender looks at the glass.
It's 10 feet away.
...

He says...
..."You're telling me
you'll bet me $300...
that you can piss,
standing here into that glass,
and not spill a single drop?"

Customer looks up and says:
"That's right."

Bartender says, "You've got a bet."

The guy goes, "Okay, here we go."

Pulls out his thing.
He's thinking about the glass.
He's thinking about the glass.
Thinking about his dick.

Dick, glass, dick, glass,
dick, glass, dick, glass.

Then he lets it rip.

He pisses all over the place.
He pisses on the bar.

He pisses on the stools,
on the floor, the phone.
On the bartender's face

He's pissing everywhere
except the fucking glass!

Bartender's laughing.
He's $300 richer. He's like...

Piss dripping off his face.

bartender says, "You fucking idiot, man!
You got it in everything
except the glass!
You owe me $300, MFukr

Guy goes, " Excuse me
just one little second."
Goes in the back of the bar.
There's a couple of guys
playing pool.
He walks over to them.
Comes back to the bar.
Goes, "Here you go. $300."

The bartender's like...
"Why are you so happy? You just lost $300, idiot!"

The guy says,
"See those guys there?
I just bet them $1000 apiece...
that I could piss on your bar...
...your floor, your phone,
and piss on you...
...and not only would you not
be mad about it..you'd be happy."
That's funny shit, huh?
"You'd be happy about it!"